Looking at His “Package”

For a department such as ours that is made up of supposedly boring people in a supposedly boring profession, I must say that it is extremely rare that we have a dull moment.  This little story is one example why.

A male junior staffer, I’m going to call him Daniel, walked into my office one morning last week to express a certain “concern” he was having with one of the female senior staffers in our department.  For the sake of our story, I will call this female senior staffer Kate.

But first, let me give you some background information on both individuals.  Both are relatively new to the department.  Daniel joined us in October of last year while Kate joined us in January of this year.   Both are very intelligent, driven and hardworking individuals.  Kate hails from Georgia in the southern part of the United States while Daniel was born and raised in New York.  Kate is about 29 years old while Daniel is slightly younger at 24.  Kate stands about 5′8″ while Daniel is about 5′9″.

Anyway, Daniel walked into my my office to complain that Kate has been making him feel “quite uncomfortable”.   He had worked under her (no pun intended) on a couple of projects in the last three months.  In our group, a project, from start to finish, has  an average life cycle of four weeks and thus, Dave had worked under Kate’s lead for about eight weeks in the past few months.

He complained to me by citing a few examples as to why he’s uncomfortable with her.  In his examples, he mentioned that:

1. Kate often looks at his “package” (the crotch area of his pants) whenever she talks to him;
2. While leaning over his shoulder one time to view what was on his computer monitor, she had placed her hand on top of his and proceeded to move the computer mouse in order to move the cursor to a  particular part of the screen;
3. She supposedly caresses his shoulders every once in a while while chatting with him; and that
4. He had caught her listening in to his phone calls with his girlfriend.  He found out about this because after he was done talking to his girlfriend over the phone, Kate came over and asked questions that were very specific to what Daniel had just discussed with his girlfriend.

He told me that he finds it hard to respect her as a Team Leader because of her actions.  I asked him then if he had let her known that her actions bother him.  He told me he hasn’t.

I tried to play the devil’s advocate by attempting to point out to Daniel that it could be possible that she didn’t intend any malice in any of her actions; that maybe, that’s just the way she is.  Plus, as mentioned earlier, Kate came from a different region of the United States.  As with every other country in the world, people that come from different regions have their own ways and sensitivities.  That could be true in this case.  Thus, I’m wondering if maybe, just maybe, that Daniel could be misinterpreting her actions.

Daniel was intent on bringing this matter up with our company’s Ethics Officer.  But I advised him that I think it would be fair for everyone concerned if he sit back for now and see if the same problem with Kate shows up again.  If it does, I advised him to immediately let her know, as a warning, that what she’s doing is bothering him or making him uncomfortable.  If that doesn’t stop her, then he has all the right in the world to report the matter directly to our Ethics Officer.  Daniel agreed and that’s where we are right now with this situation.

It wouldn’t be fair to Kate if I allowed Daniel to immediately report this matter to the Ethics Officer.  Kate deserves a chance to deny or dispute an allegation before it gets raised to a higher authority.  Holding off on reporting this matter is the prudent thing to do given the current circumstances.  None of the other guys in our department who have dealt with Kate have reported being on the receiving end of any unprofessional acts or unwelcome advances from her.  Thus, Daniel’s source(s) of discomfort with Kate could be a matter of perception or that he may be more overly sensitive to what she does as compared to the others.  Thus, as far as I’m concerned, Kate, is to be considered innocent for now.

Went Shopping

Office was closed Friday before the 4th of July and thus, I decided to do my little part to help revive the badly ailing American economy.  I went out this morning to do a little shopping. 

I was badly in need of a few pairs of pants and some shirts and thus, with the weather cooperating, I drove out today to a small outlet center about a half hour’s drive from my place.

Since today was the start of the July 4th holiday weekend, a lot of stores were offering very good discounts on their merchandise.  I bought a couple of pairs of cotton, wrinkle-free pants at a 40% discount at the Brooks Brothers outlet store shown above.  One thing I’ve always done whenever I shop for clothes is never pay for them at full price.  I always wait for a Sale to come along before I shop for clothes.

A shot of a few more stores in the same section of the outlet center I was in.  I got my shirts at a Timberland store in an adjacent section.  Timberland had a good deal going for I was able to buy my shirts at a 30% discount.

I wish I could show you more pictures but this photo and the one before it were the only ones I took while I was shopping.  However, both photos reveal a few things about me as a shopper.

You don’t see a crowd of shoppers in either picture.  Whenever I go shopping, I always make it a point to go early.  I often begin my shopping around 10 or 10:30 a.m., way before the crowds roll in.  I can’t stand crowded areas and situations because I have a very low tolerance for the rude and uncivilized behavior a good number of misguided animals (yes, that’s what I call them) display when they take advantage of such situations for their own selfish ends.  Thus, I avoid them like the plague.

In addition, shopping early provides me with three distinct benefits.   First is the availability of parking spaces.  I get to choose where to park my car instead of fighting for a spot or spending a good amount of time looking for one .  Second, I often get better service from sales personnel.   At that early hour, they’re still usually in a pleasant mood due to the fact that they still haven’t been stressed out by unpleasant, whiney or rude customer(s).  Third, beating other customers to a store means I have more and better items in front of me to choose from.  This is the part I love best because a lot of the “nice” or “nicer” stuff are still available for sale.  I hate having to come in late in the afternoon or in the evening and having to deal with “leftover” stuff.  At that point only the not-too-good items are left.  No way.

Lastly, as a shopper, I’m the “in and out” type.  Before I drive out to a store or a mall, I make a list of the items I need.  I then drive out to the place and once there, I go straight to the rack, aisle, or section that has the stuff I need.  I pick the stuff up, inspect it, pay, and head for the nearest exit.  It is quite rare that I hang around a store to check the other items on display.

Thus, with my shopping ways, I am often done before lunch time.  I then treat myself to a good lunch as a reward to myself (naks!) for yet another relatively stress-free shopping experience before I head home.

This is how I shop.  How about you? 

Paying for Another’s Sins

“Hands of Shame”

I can’t recall the soul I lost
when summer turned to sudden frost.
Forever living in the lie
that blindness prompts the truth to die.

In the night the demon sings
a lullaby of sharp bee stings.
The clown of all my early dreams
collapses from its damaged seams.

A river washed away my past,
but in the night the dream comes fast.
Circling bees around my head;
tempted by life to pray to be dead.

Force away the hands of shame.
Grant the child one less pain.
Paying for another’s sins
is a lifetime fight that no one wins.

Save the loyal, kill the rules.
Remove your child from silenced schools.
It’s time we learn the crucial game
that frees us all from hands of shame.

- Author unknown

Funny Sign

On the second level of Manhattan’s Port Authority Bus Terminal is a small establishment called Drago Shoe Repair.   I pass by it every afternoon on my way up to the fourth level to take my bus ride home.  Anyway, it has a sign that is prominently displayed above the Cashier’s Register that for some reason, never fails to bring a smile to my face whenever I read it.  The sign is a simple one that says:

“WE ARE NOT GOD

BUT WE DO SAVE SOLES.”

Funny.